An eldery couple with memory problems are advised by their doctor to write notes to help them remember things. One evening, while watching TV, the wife asks her husband to get her a bowl of ice-cream. “sure,” he says
“write it down,”she suggests.
“No,”he says. “I can remember a simple thing like that.”
“I also want strawberries and whipped cream,”she says. “Write it down.”
“I don’t need to write it down,”he insists, heading to the kitchen.
Twenty minutes later, he returns bearing a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs. “I told you to write it down!” his wife says. “I wanted fried eggs!” (Marilyn Adkins)
A patient goes to the doctor's office where, much to his surprise the doctor asks him, "Would you please help me with a problem I'm having?"
Sure, doctor, what can I do for you, says the patient.
"Would you scream in the most earsplitting, piercing screams you can manage? Try to make it sound as if you're in terrible pain." The doctor says.
"But why, doctor, you've always been gentle with me and your treatments have never caused me any pain?" Asks the patient.
"Yes," Says the doctor in a matter-of-fact tone, "but I have a 4 o'clock tee time at the golf course I don't want to miss, and my waiting room is still full of patients."
A psychiatrist gets a frantic call. “You’ve got to help me, Doctor,”a woman says. “My husband thinks he’s a big opera star. He sings every night at the top of his lungs! Aida! Rigoleto! Traviata!
“Send him to me,” the shrink says. “I’ll see what I can do.”
A week later, the woman calls again.
“Doc, I don’t know how you did it! He’s not singing nearly as much. Did you clear his delusion?”
“No,”says the psychiatrist. “I just gave him a smaller part.” (Mary Lodge)