Asia's funniest jokes

Philippines:
Joe, Mike, Mary and Tom were talking about their dreams jobs. “I want to be lawyer,” Joe began, “so that I can defend my countrymen.”
“I want to be a congressmen,” said Mike, “so I can draft laws to benefit my countrmen.”

“I want to be a doctor,”said Mary,”so that I can cure my countrymen.”
“How about you, Tom? What would you like to be?” asked Joe.
Tom thought a moment and replied, “I’d like to be a countrymen.”

China :
My cousin always “borrows” money from her older brother’s piggy bank, which drives him crazy. One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator. Inside was this note: “Dear sister, I hope you’ll understand, but my capital has been frozen.”

India :
A business executive visits his dear Chinese friend in the hospital. “Li kai yang qi guan,” says the sick man feebly. The executive desperately wants to help him, but he doesn’t speak Mandarin. “Li kai yang qi guan!” says the patient, as he draws his last breath. Later that year, the executive is in Shanghai on business when he finally learns the meaning of the phrase Li kai yang qi guan: Get off my oxygen tube.
Source: rdasia.com